


I won’t say I’m in love, yet?

by Lazydreams



Category: The Queen's Gambit (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sex, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:35:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28752261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazydreams/pseuds/Lazydreams
Summary: Benny hasn’t heard from Beth since she won against Borgov in January of ‘69, and that was 2 months ago. Benny is still wanting and waiting for Beth, but for how much longer?+Or Benny is in love with Beth and can’t get her off his mind. Even when she doesn’t call.
Relationships: Beth Harmon/Benny Watts
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic in about 10 years. So please bear with me If it’s not jk Rowling standard. And I don’t know what I’m doing with this. I’m just going to let it roll. 
> 
>   
> And sorry if Benny comes across as timid. I’m not good at writing men. But REALLY wanted to do his POV. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.. now carry on 👍🏻

Benny Watts has always been sure of himself, he’s always been confident in how he dresses, he never attaches himself to one person for too long, and always has chess in the forefront of his mind. He’s always made sure that women and sex never got in the way of chess.

That is until now. 

Beth Harmon.

Benny hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her since, well since Paris. He’d told her he missed her on the phone. She never said it back, he hoped that foolishly that she would. Then he’d fucked it up by telling her to never call him again just before Moscow. Benny ran his hands over his face.. what the fuck had he been thinking? 

He knew why he did it. He’d been pissed that she’s given away the money for the invitational. The money that had guaranteed his place as her second. He’d remembered how he’d felt after the phone call. He spend the rest of the day (and night) smoking and chess. He’d also gambled more then usual after the call. But the one thing he couldn’t do was forget her. He’d tried to, oh he tried. He’d met a couple of girls at New York bars but none were as beautiful and smart as Beth. And one particular night he’d beat himself off to the image and sounds of Beth panting and moaning underneath him, the touch of her skin, the way she said his name. He’d moaned her name and came hard that night. And dreamt of her that night. 

Benny Watts was a guy in love. And he was fucked. 

Now, it had been two months since Moscow and he’d been buying every newspaper and magazine that had her face on it. He knew that she was and had been busy with press tours and meeting countless people, fuck he knew what that was like. Being tossed around from interview to interview. But was that a valid reason for her not to call? Surely the phone call from Russia had been a big enough answer for her, that he didn’t mean what he said and that he was sorry. They both were the same in that respect, they both couldn’t be honest, they both pushed people away. 

He was currently replaying the Borgov game with Hilton. Arthur was getting lunch. They’d come over to keep him from being bored. Or keep an eye on him. Weren’t they the same? He was playing black. But for some reason he couldn’t focus. He knew why.. it was B..

Then a voice brought him out of his thoughts. 

“Benny, your move” 

“Shit, sorry man..” He moved his rook forward. 

“You ok? You’ve been distracted lately? Hilton looked up at him and had a concerned look on his face. 

“I’m fine man.. honestly”

“You can say it, you know.. it’s Beth isn’t it?”

He stared at Hilton. Was it really that obvious to him that Benny was distracted by a certain red head. Shit.

“Maybe... I don’t know” He was lying and he knew it. 

“You should call her.. she’d be home by now surely?”

“Why? She hasn’t bothered to get into contact with me”

“She might be waiting for you to call man. You’ll never know how she feels if you don’t call? Promise me you’ll think about it?”

“Alright I’ll think about it”

Later that night after the boys had left to go and meet Cleo, whom he hadn’t seen since Christmas when they or rather Benny had gotten drunk and tried to fuck her. Maybe it was a blessing or something when she’d pushed him away. He’d been trying to gain the courage to call her. Would she answer. What if she shut him down like he’d done to her?

“Fuck!” The noise rang out in the room of his dark and small basement apartment. 

Finally after three hours since he’d thought of the idea, he picked up his phone and dialed her number. Silently hoping that she’d perhaps be out or not at home still. 

Yet the voice that came through the other end of the phone told him he was wrong. 

“Hello?..”  
Her voice still sounded the same. Beautiful and like an angel. 

“Hey Beth..” 

“Benny! Hi...", she paused."Wha- it’s nice to hear from you.”

“Yeah, how are you? Congratulations by the way. You were fantastic!”

“ "I couldn’t have done it without you and the others..”

“Yeah you could’ve.. you just needed some faith” This was true. He knew she’d be able to do it with some encouragement. 

“Why are you calling Benny?”

Getting straight to the point was Beth’s speciality.

“I...” No he couldn’t say that.  
“Just wanted to wish you congratulations...” he scratched the back of his neck.

“Beth look I’m sorry about before Moscow. I was stupid for telling you not to call... I fucked up and I’m sorry”

“I won’t deny that I wasn’t upset... but you’re forgiven” He could her the smile in her voice. 

He relaxed slightly.

“I’m doing well, no pills or booze since Moscow. 

“..”

“That’s great”....Beth!” He paused for a Moment before asking “Are you coming to New York?” Fourth time lucky right?

“Benny.. .. I don’t know. Look, I’ve only been home a few days.. I have so much to keep up here for a while... I’m sorry”

“No it’s fine. I understand...” He should’ve expected that response from Beth by now. 

“It’s been nice to here from you Benny.. really.”

“My pleasure.. look uh I’ve got to go but I’ll talk to you soon yeah?”

“Ok.. bye”

“...”

“Bye”

He put the phone back and got up roughly and kicked the table. Swearing as the pain hit him. 

“Well you fucking dumb ass, well fucking done”

+  
A week had passed since that phone call and it was now February 3rd. He’d not heard from Beth at all. In fact he’d not see her in any magazines either. He was deep in his Beth Harmon hole that he wasn’t sure if he’d get out any time soon. 

He was currently playing an old game from ‘62 when he heard a loud knock at the door. Arthur and Hilton had been round last night, had they forgotten something? 

“Alright man, watcha forget now?”

But it wasn’t the boys staring at him at the door. It was Beth. His breath caught in his throat and he was stunned. She was here, right here! He blinked a few times just to make sure this wasn’t a dream. 

“Hi Benny”  
She was standing there wearing the white coat from the pictures. Black tight pants and a blue and orange striped top. She looked beautiful as always.

He cleared his throat before speaking.  
“Hey”

“Beth.. what are do you doing here.. I thought..?”

“You thought what.. that I didn’t want to see you.. I’m here now doesn’t that answer your question, now are you going to let me in or not. It’s freezing”

Always straight to the point with her. 

“Uh.. yeah sure.. sorry.. come in”

He moved aside to let her through. He still couldn’t believe that she was here. Again. He took her coat and hung it up. And she put her things beside the stairs.

“I’m sorry it that came across mean.. I’m just shocked to see you here.. it’s good to see you” 

“It’s good to see you to. I’m sorry didn’t call back. I was trying to get myself together after Moscow. And then life got in the way”

“Beth it’s ok.... uh..How long are you staying for?” Benny didn’t know whether he wanted to hear the answer. 

“I don’t know. However long you’ll have me”

“Ha.. you’re welcome as long as you like Beth you know that”

“Well do you still have that blow up mattress?” Beth smiled. Knowing that he did. As it was behind her and she would’ve seen it as she came in.

“Uh.. it’s a bit broken. Wouldn’t want to use it.”

“Oh really? Hmm.. well I’m not sleeping in the floor Benny”

“Beth Harmon what kind of guy do you take me for? I’d never let you sleep on the floor!”

There was a look in her eyes that made Benny think that she wanted to say something and before he could speak first she spoke.

“I’ve missed you Benny.”

Benny stared at her. She’d missed him! He played with his ring nervously. But it was now or never

“I’ve missed you too... Beth..”

But he was cut off when Beth stepped forward and kissed him. He was stunned by the action. And had a second the realize that he wasn’t doing anything. He wrapped his arms round her waist. She had her hands in his hair.. he’d figured ages ago that she really likes his hair. 

He deepened the kiss by turning his head slightly and suddenly their tongues were battling for dominance. She pushed him back towards the wall behind him. He moaned into the kiss. Then with the need to breathe being important, they broke apart and rested their foreheads together. 

“You’ve missed me huh?” He smirked at her. 

“Oh shut up... but yeah I have” 

They still had their arms around each other. Benny didn’t want to think about the future right now. What mattered now was that Beth was here. In his arms. 

“So does that mean I can use your bed then?”. Beth stepped away from him and headed towards his bedroom. She looked at him and smiled. Damn, this woman was going to be the death of him. And he wasn’t complaining. 

Benny followed her, like a lustful love sick puppy.

And he loved it.


	2. Chapter 2

Benny walked into his room where Beth had drawn him in like a lovesick dog. He leaned against his bedroom wall. He was definitely in too deep. He walked towards her and kissed her deep and hard. Their tongues battling for dominance. He put his hands up her tshirt and caressed her skin, it felt like heaven, and they haven’t even started yet. She was soft and oh so sexy. He cup her breasts which she must’ve liked, as she moaned into his mouth as they kissed. 

“I want.. you Benny...now”

The look in Beth’s eyes was lustful and like a animal in heat. 

He pulled her T-shirt off effortlessly, not that he needed any practice. He noticed her hands tugging at his shirt. He took the hint and shrugged it off. Their skin touching felt like fire, something they’d both missed in the months they’d been apart from one another. 

He grabbed the clasp on the back of her bra and grabbed her breasts, he then had an idea. Benny pushed her onto his bed and crawled up to her. He was painfully hard but wanted to give Beth a taste of what he’d missed these past months. 

He took one of her breasts in his mouth and fondled the other. He could tell she was loving it as she was moaning and whispering his name. He then moved to her lover half, which was still clothed. 

He unzipped her skirt and noticed she was wearing black matching underwear. Laced and sexy. Shame they were going to last long. 

“Benny.. don’t make me wait”

“Wouldn’t dream of it kid”

He pulled her underwear down and all but threw it out the room. Benny didn’t normally brag. But he was good with sex and women. He kissed and sucked the inside of her thighs, kissing them all the way up to her sex. 

Benny smiled as he heard her moan his name. Benny stuck two fingers inside her. He saw her grab the sheets beneath her. 

“Benny...ah”

“You like that huh?”

“Mmm”

He smirked as he went back down and licked and sucked her clit. His tongue going in and out, Beth grabbed at his hair, as if he was going anywhere now?

He fingers her whilst still licking her out. She was close, he could feel it. Her walls clamping down on his fingers. Beth was moaning his name. Crying out for him. 

He knew one thing that would work. He bit down on her clit as she cried out as her orgasm took over her. He licked up her juices like a cat with milk. He looked up at her. Beth’s eyes were hooded but full of lust. 

“Now it’s your turn Mr Watts..”She was clearly out of breath but that didn’t stop her from getting to her knees and turning his round and pushing him to the bed and touching him through his jeans. He closed his eyes at the feeling. He knew he wasn’t going to last long if she carried on.

“Fuck...ah...Beth” 

Beth pulled his zipper down and pulled his jeans and boxers down. He all but kicked them off. She stared at him. He smiled. 

“Please...drink me in why don’t you?”

“Oh I will..don’t you worry.”

And with that she started licking the underside of his shaft. She cupped his balls and moved from his cock to his balls.   
“Fuck..uh..Beth”

“Shh”

Then he groaned loudly as he felt her engulf his cock in her mouth. Fuck, he wasn’t going to last if this carried on. He didn’t want to end like this. She carried on teasing and sucking him off until he put his hands on her shoulders and groaned as she got off him. Licking her lips as she did.   
She looked at him like he’d said or done the wrong thing. 

Fuck.

“I can’t come like this.. I want to do it properly” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. 

“We’ll show me then Benny”

He smiled at her as he grabbed her waist so that she was lying on her back. He quickly grabbed a condom, but before he could roll it on. She stopped him. He looked her her confused. 

“I’m on the pill. Have been for a while now.”

“Beth...you.”

“I’m sure... now fuck me Benny Watts”

He groaned as he bent down to kiss her. She tasted sweet, like heaven. He alined his cock with her opening and both of them groaned as he entered her. She was so fucking tight. He swore as he felt her walls grip his in a vice. He started thrusting in and out slowly. But it was Beth who have the indication to go faster but tightening her legs around him. He sped up. In, out, slam.

He kept that rhythm until he hand an idea. He hitched her legs up to his shoulders. And slammed into her, HARD. He moaned loudly as he bottomed out inside her. She screamed out his name. She was gripping the sheets for dear life now. What he was doing was obviously working. 

He could feel Beth was close to cumming as he felt her walls start to clamp around his cock. He sped up as he fucked her hard. The bed squeaking and slamming against the wall behind it. 

“Benny... I’m gonna cum!”

“Ah!.. fuck.... that’s it.. cum for me baby”  
He grunted the words as he fucked her. He wasn’t going to last much longer either.

Then she came. Gripping his cock like a vice. Screaming out his name in ecstasy. A few thrusts later he felt the heat travel to his cock and he held her tight against him as he spilled inside of her. 

He opened his eyes and smiled. Beth was looking at him with a look of...love. Lust.. they’re the same aren’t they? 

He pulled out of her. Both wincing at the action as they were both so sensitive. He lay on the bed next to her. He pulled the sheets over them both. He put an arm out to her. Her head resting on his shoulder. And her arm around his stomach. 

“I guess you wouldn’t object to me staying longer then?”

He smiled at her.

“Of course I wouldn’t object, if I get a hello like that every day, then you can stay as long as you like”

They both wanted to ask the obvious... How long exactly?.... but for now. Benny was just happy with being in her arms. The room smelling of floral shampoo, sweat and sex. He listened to Beth lightly snoring and kissed her forehead.

“I love you Beth Harmon”

She curled up closer to him. He kissed her once more before dropping off into a deep sleep. Hoping that this wasn’t all a dream.


	3. Chapter 3

2 weeks later

Benny woke up still arching from where Beth had all but clawed at his back last night, they’d woken up twice and both times ended up having sex. He looked over mad realized that Beth wasn’t next to him. Beth had awoken first as always.

He wasn’t shocked to see that hadn’t changed since the last time. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. He had no idea what time it was but he guessed it was way passed 10am. He walked out of his bedroom in his jeans and his floral robe around him. And shirtless of course. 

He saw Beth at his stove, with a pan and an egg box to one side. Eggs, always eggs. Beth was dressed in dark blue jeans and a black and white striped top. She could wear anything and she’d look good. She obviously hadn’t heard him. So he walked up to her snaked an arm round her. 

“Morning Harmon”

She jumped slightly at his sudden appearance. He smiled to himself. 

“Morning Benny.. or should I say sleeping beauty”

“Hey I like my sleep alright. Nothing wrong with that and I’m well rested, especially after last night” He grabbed a slice of bread and put it in the toaster. He wasn’t usually a breakfast type of person. But for some reason always did when Beth was around. More so now that she was here.   
He made him and Beth coffee. Remembering to put the milk and sugar in Beth’s coffee this time. 

“Well I don’t hear you complaining Mr Watts” She sat down opposite him on his table. She’d taken the eggs out of the pan and was now peeling them. 

The ever present chess set was set up from the game from last night. That neither of them completed. They set up their pieces. Beth being white. They played through 8 games before Benny’s phone started to ring. 

Benny looked over at his phone. Who was calling him? He didn’t have any interviews.   
He walked over to the phone and picked it up. 

“Hello?”

“Hello I’m Donald Anderson and would like to speak to Miss Harmon Please?”

He looked over at Beth. Who’d told him that Beth was here. Had word leaked out that she was here. He gestured that the call was for her and put it on the table.

“Hello.?”

He watched Beth, he couldn’t tell what was being said but he heard the reply.

“Yes of course, I’ll be there in two hours”

Benny frowned slightly.   
“Who was that? 

“They want me to come for an interview on the Tonight Show here in New York. Today specifically, at 2”

“How’d they get my number and more importantly who told them you were here?”

“Jolene. They tried contacting my house number In Lexington but failed and called the closest person to family... Jolene. And she game them your number”

“Right... well that’s fine”

“You’re not mad?”

“Why”

“No reason”

“Beth she’s family to you. I wouldn’t upset family” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. 

“Good because of you did, she’d crucify you”. She tightened her arms around his waist.

“I won’t. I promise. Now C’mon Harmon. Time to get ready”

“Oh please Benny, You take long then me in the shower and getting ready in general”

“Who’s fault is it that the showers take the longest.. hmm?” 

She blushed at his comment. 

It was true. Every time one of them had a shower, most times it would result in sex or oral. Not that either of them complained mind you. 

After about 3 cigarettes each and 20 minutes of trying to find his keys to his car. Yes, Benny had decided to drive there. They finally managed to get out the apartment. They got into the car. This time Benny had no tickets to pay for. 

**

The journey was slow due to the afternoon traffic. They’d played through 5 games, 2 of which Benny won, much to Beth’s annoyance. The traffic had started to build the last half hour of so. The new WTC North Tower hadn’t been open that year and everyone in NY seemed to be flocking to see it. It was getting more famous then the Empire State Building.Benny tapped the wheel impatiently, he couldn’t afford Beth to be late. 

He moved the stick shift down a gear, tapping it.   
“C’mon man, just move it forward a bit!.. fuck.”

He felt a hand cover his. He looked down to see Beth’s hand over his. He stared up at her and smiled.   
“Sorry, I just don’t want to make you late”

“You can’t help the traffic Benny..and I’m sure they’d understand.. wanna play again?”

“I’ve got a better game?... every time the traffic stops or we hit a traffic light. We have to kiss”

The traffic being rather heavy that afternoon and the traffic lights going read every minute. They practically had a make out session before they reached the building for the interview. Benny parked the car on the side of the road and walked in with Beth. 

“You might want to clean up that Benny”   
Beth wiped he thumb along his lower lip. And he saw the lipstick stain. He wiped his thumb along his lip and smiled when he saw the lipstick mark. 

“It’s not that bad” He winked at her and kissed her on lips and smiled. 

“Beth Harmon”   
A young man with a clipboard and slicked back black hair. He was wearing black work pants and a blue shirt and blazer. He looked about 19. Fresh out of high school by the looks of things.

“Yeah that’s me.”  
Beth had already bought a dress to change into. It was Benny’s favorite although he want going to tell anyone else but Beth that. 

It was a new one that she’d bought a few days ago. It was blue with a gorgeous plunging neckline and brought out the best in Beth’s figure. Benny would have to try and behave himself behind the scenes. Beth had show it to him that day and it hadn’t stayed on long. They’d fucked all night and didn’t fall asleep until 3am. He had to hide the marks and scratches the next day during an interview for the chess review. Beth had a rather   
good time hinting at his black turtleneck that day. 

“I’ll see you when you’re done” He gave her a quick hug and kissed her before watching her walk to the dressing rooms. Benny unfortunately had to go to sit in the audience for the first time in a long time. Not that he minded. Now that he knew him and Beth were ok. Sure they weren’t perfect and still had a lot to get through and they both weren’t the most stable of people, but they were good. Great even. 

About 45 minutes later, he forced himself not to cheer too loudly as Beth came on stage. She spotted him immediately and smiled. She looked gorgeous in that dress, if he did say so himself. And had to force himself not go on stage and fuck her right there and then on tv. He definitely wouldn’t be able to look at the dress the same way again. 

*  
Thank god for it being filmed and not live. He didn’t think he could stand how hard he was currently for the next 30 minutes. As the 30 minute break started, he walked to her dressing room. And knocked. Lucky for him, she answered immediately. She wasn’t too surprised to see him. 

Benny pushed himself into the dressing room and kissed her hungrily and kicked the door behind him. He press himself against her so she could feel the hard bulge in his pants as he bent down and kissed the nape of her neck. Beth sighed into the kiss. Beth push back against him and With her breasts firmly pressed against his chest, his hands roaming freely on her buttocks and their lips clashing with each other. 

They parted for air and the look on Beth’s face was pure lust. He was sure he looked the same. 

“How long do we have?”

“About half an hour give or take” 

“Well we better make it quick then Watts..”  
She covered his bulge with her hand. He shivered as a ripple went through his spine. He groaned. 

“Fuck Beth.” He grabbed her ass and pressed her against his erection. Which was getting painfully tighter. 

“Fuck me Benny..show me again how much you love this dress?” 

Fuck. He was definitely in deep and he loved it.   
-  
To be continued...


End file.
